Thanks, Hugo.

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Why is it that it has taken me so long to put pen to paper or rather fingers to keyboard?  I haven’t had a stroke of inspiration in far too long, which I crave day in and day out. It’s been deteriorating me. It has been pushing me to question my being.

But how could that be? I’m in New York City; where some say is the most inspirational place of all. It hasn’t been that truth for me. It’s drained my inspiration. It’s pulled me to be confused on how to even articulate my thoughts. This city has turned to not be a novelty to me anymore. My eyes aren’t deer eyed as I come up from the subway and I haven’t gotten butterflies the last few times I walked through Washington Square Park, my favorite place in the world. As I’ve known that this is expected to come with time it still leaves me in this place of discomfort knowing that I don’t want to feel that way. I want to remain so excited for life as it is something that has always gotten me out of bed in the morning. I want to remain excited to build my life pounding the pavement in this bustling city. I made the move to NYC to pursue journalism, community, and writing. I want to continue to be here for exactly that. I’m not sure just yet in what form but I know I want to be in that world.

In my writing, I do not like to fluff it up nor do I like to make myself sound like I am some sort of philosophical wizard that double majored in English and Literature. At times, I’ve been criticized for my writing by others for that reason. In my columns and blogs, I’m not writing to make others happy or to please everyone – I’m writing from the heart and from what I believe is valuable. In my news stories, I keep it to the facts ensuring that there is never a bias, because, well that is what hard news journalism is.  At times, I look back and think I sound so naïve or that the flow of my language is impractical and immature but I’m coming to find that my writing is beautiful exactly for that reason.

I think the power in my writing is that to many it is personable, practical and relatable. I hope that when you read my writing whether it be an advice column or an Instagram story that you can hear me and that you feel that I am right there talking with you. I like the idea of people wanting to hear more from me and having an appreciation for what I have an input on, I think that’s what makes journalism interesting. As, I too, have my favorite writers that have made such a significant impact on my personality and style as a young woman and writer.

I’m realizing a lot right now as I navigate adulthood. I realize I do not know much but I know a lot… Does that make sense? I feel that I’ve evolved a great deal and I love that I’m constantly evolving. I like who I am becoming. I feel that as a 23-year-old I’m rather mature, bold and strong. I can finally acknowledge that I am extremely intelligent. That my brain is full of so many powerful juices. I love that about me. But, right now I do not know much about what is next or what I want to do. I’m working to be okay with that. In general, I have so much to learn.  I do know that I am passionate about connecting and conversing with others. That above all, community is so important to me.

Amidst my rambling, I’d like to tie it back to say that I’m lost and uninspired. I think it stems from the rough year I’ve had full of heartaches, heartbreaks, and transitions but also from the shaking of figuring out who the heck this lil’ mama (me) truly is to the core.

Finally, tonight, I was struck again with inspiration.

I left the city for a few days this week and I came back not looking forward to returning. I never thought that this would happen as New York City is where I’ve wanted to live my whole life.  I thought to myself “Yes, Emily, leave the city for a few days and you’ll be even more excited to come back to it” No, wrong. I came back even more itching to get out. I’ve come to realize there is no better time than now to explore and see as much as I can as I am not tied to anyone or anything. I know for a fact that I have a lot of traveling to do and exploring to see and that now is the time to do it. Glory be, for sublets. I have this urge to pick up and leave and I find great comfort to know that right now, I can. This was the mindset that I had as I returned to the city as it is also the truth but with a  cab ride later a shift was made…

As much as I know and am ready and all for my travels that are soon to come, I know that I have a lot of unfinished business here. Also, I know that this city will always welcome me back with open arms. This past six months living in New York has been the best relationship I’ve ever been in and it’s also been the one that has given me the toughest love a girl could imagine. For that alone, I am thankful.

I got in my yellow cab from JFK airport ready to get home and crawl in bed again to hibernate. As I was feeling alone and heavy-hearted, I told myself that this was the last night I would allow myself to feel this sadness and I would wake up tomorrow, the last day of 2018, with a checklist of things to do to end it on a high note.

I got out of my yellow cab from JFK airport feeling confident that I can be the change that my generation needs.

I got out of my yellow cab from JFK inspired from a conversation with a stranger.

I got out of my yellow cap from JFK finally ready to write about and work towards things that actually fucking matter to me.

I got out of my yellow cab from JFK eager to open my laptop and pull up a word document for the first time in over 8 months.

My yellow cab driver’s name from JFK is Hugo. I think Hugo is going to play a significant role in my life as he told me I already did in his. He shared that he lost hope in my generation and race. He told me that this 45-minute cab ride with me has restored his lost hope. He shared he had been driving for 20 years and had never connected in a conversation like that before with a passenger.  His restored hope restored my lost inspiration and is pushing tonight to push for tomorrow because I know that it is going to be worth.

Hugo is going to be a guest on my podcast. In which, he has never listened to a podcast but he has such a story to tell that I am so excited to tell with you. I am going to launch my podcast and I am not going to be afraid to produce, share, write and promote it any longer. I am not going to be intimidated by putting out what I want into the world any longer. My podcast is going to be interesting and for whoever wants to listen. I may be the only one that loves or rather listens to it but I am going to make it happen and I cannot wait for Hugo to sit down and have a cup of coffee with me while sharing amazing conversation as his story is told and my truth is heard.

Thank you, Hugo. You have lit the light under my ass, lit the spark in my eye and again lit the candle that was blown out again.

QOTD: “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means”

Love, Em

Mindful Mornings

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Hey Humans,

I’m writing this as I sit on my yoga mat in the middle of my shoebox-sized Manhattan apartment. Can you say, Carpe Diem?

My anxieties have been kicking me in the ass the last two weeks. I’m not sure if it’s because my hormones are shifting as a young woman or if it’s because I’m struggling with things. “Things” – Ha! What a vague word. How about? Transitions? Hardships? Life?

Regardless of the cause, I’ve taken action. As hard as it has been to get out of bed the last three days I’m making a conscious effort to give extra self-love and self-care to myself.

When my anxiety is high my inspiration is low. For a writer and a creative like myself – that’s a big fat no-no. But, I’m thankful to be fully (or mostly) aware of how my brain and body is feeling even in the midst of my jumbled emotions.

Last night at the peak of my anxiousness around 9 pm I took a moment to pause things and write down my plan for the morning. Doing this allowed me to have things be clearer.  Here it is folks; My Morning Mindfulness…

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As I’m writing this, I’ve just wrapped up my mindful morning and it has helped me – hell, it has even sparked me to write about it. I’ll set the scene for you from the last 12 hours.

Last night after work I prepped my room for the morning to ensure that I would wake up in the right headspace. I had my incents ready, my morning drink prepped, my yoga mat ready to be rolled out and my ocean wave soundtrack ready to play on my computer.

At night, I put my mood lights on and sprayed my bedroom with aromatherapy before my shower, I took an extra-long shower and I even let my air conditioner stay on while I was washing off. After, I put on my more expensive smelly body lotion and used the sample Chanel serum that I’ve been hanging onto since I pulled it out of that Cosmopolitan magazine two months ago. I put a clean set of pajamas on and my extra comfy underwear (aka six-pack cottons from Walmart) and made a conscious effort to read my new magazine rather than scroll through Twitter before falling asleep. I treated myself.

I treated myself in an effort to make my insides calm. It worked. I slept like a baby – for the first time in a while.

Waking up was easier. It wasn’t easy but it was easier than it had been the last few days.

I’m not a type A person but I’ve found that planning out moments hour by hour helps me articulate my thoughts much better and allows me to be more fluid in my day.

This is how I planned out my Tuesday by each hour (bare you that it’s chicken scratch but it makes sense to me):

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Within the past 5 months, I’ve started meditating. I think the word meditation is such an intimidating word. But it does not have to be. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way to do it.

Some days meditating will work and some days it just won’t. And that’s OK.

Meditation does not have to be some holy thing where we put our Lulu Lemons on and pull out yoga mats. Meditation can (and should) come when you have an extra two minutes on your commute or in bed as your laying on your back trying to sort through your thoughts.

Anytime is a good time to be mindful. That said, I do believe being mindful comes with practice. It is a practice of its own. In order to be mindful you have to make a conscious effort – then once you find your mindfulness it will come organically to you.

There are so many ways to be mindful with yourself. It all varies on what you want and who you are. My ways of mindfulness come from taking conscious minutes to let my mind flow whether it be in meditation, writing or simply just talking to myself in the shower. In general, I talk to myself a whole hell of a lot – people probably think I’m crazy. Oh well!

What are some ways that you practice mindfulness? What are some words that you associate with being mindful?

If you are interested in beginning the practice of meditation…this is the app that got me started and still rely on when I’m meditating. It’s guided and simple mediations. It’s called Headspace and it takes practice to get started. Honestly, it feels weird when you begin but I promise it’s a sweet thing in your day once you figure it out. Please, if you give it a shot, be gentle with yourself. This is a practice and all practices take patience and multiple efforts. Download it and let me know what you think.

This is what the icon on your app store and phone looks like:

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By no means do I know much when it comes to this topic but it’s something that I’ve been working on that has personally helped me manage my anxiety so I wanted to share with you.

Hope you make the most of your day – I know I will be – thanks mindful morning! Woo.

QOTD: “she made the whole world feel like home”

Talk to ya soon,

Em

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Lessons Learned from Moving and Shaking

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Hi Pals-

So many thoughts! Such little time!

If you want to know what I’m going to write about here then I’m just going to tell you and you can read as you see fit. But let me tell you, people, this might just be the most important blog post that you’ve read all day.

I’m going to be talking about and reflecting on my Pop-Up Journaling class that I hosted in Washington Square Park but more or less focusing on the nitty-gritty of what I’ve come to realize.

That being said…I believe there should be no shame in shameless self-promotion, I believe that we must make the most of what we have no matter what we do or who we are, I believe that it’s so important to take time to stop and look around at our surroundings.

I am going to elaborate on all these thoughts below. So, enjoy human beings but thanks for reading along. I’m excited to be sharing more thoughts on this platform with you for now.

For those who haven’t caught the drift from my different social media posts or Facebook Live videos then you’ve missed out on some really important, possibly life-altering, news and events. This week I hosted a Pop-Up Journaling Class.

Journaling has been a part of my life for many years. Actually, when going through old belongings, I found one of my first journals from 2010 as an angsty middle school girl reflecting on school dances and petty drama. It’s a cringe to stumble upon these memories but it just goes to show how long it’s been a part of me. Over time my journal has saved me from dark times, helped me commemorate fond memories, and helped me articulate my thoughts. It overall has evolved with me into my womanhood. Since journaling has been such a large part of my life I want to share it with as many people as I can.

Often, I post about what I’m writing or feeling in my journal to my different social platforms and this year more than ever I’ve had such a large array of friends, strangers and acquaintances reach out to me sharing how they love when I post my writing and that they wish they journaled or are curious about how to go about journaling.

You do not have to be a writer to write. Journaling can be for anyone with any interest. You do not have to have a nice pen or a good journal. You do not need to have nice handwriting. You do not have to know what you’re writing about until you’ve finished writing and have closed your notebook for the day. Journaling can be many things to many people.

This past October, I decided that I would treat myself for my birthday and sign up for a five-series mindfulness writing class. Little did I know that this class, this place and these people involved would be something that would impact me forever and inspire me to continue to follow my love and passion for writing. I continued signing up for this class for the rest of the entire year. We gathered every week and I found a sense of community that was inclusive to all. This was exactly what I was looking for. We would gather in a circle and be lead through amazing prompts that would lead us to spectacular writing, resulting in sharing the work that would wrap us up in love and tenderness as we shared our vulnerable pieces.

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Here I am with the wonderful instructors of the mindfulness classes, Katie & Carolyne. They will never have an idea how thankful I am to have met them this past year.

My idea for my journaling class stemmed from my involvement with the mindfulness classes I had been taking, from the outreach of others showing interest in journaling and for my own love for the safe space that our journals and thoughts are.

I figured there was no better time than now to begin and to make this happen.

After finishing my graduate program at Columbia University and realizing that I am now likely done with education and schooling forever (holy shit, wow) – I felt extremely burnt out and uninspired.

But, how could that be? I am a 22-year-old female living in New York City. It is shitty and it’s not what I was expecting – but, it is what it is. Right?

So, now, I’m learning to be gentle with myself. I must be gentle for my mind is valuable, thoughts are valid, the heart is tender and well-being is of the utmost importance.

Coming up with this idea of a pop-up class and preparation of had been giving me glimpses of the spark that I know I have in me and the inspiration that is sitting on the line of either being there for me as a best friend or stabbing me behind the back.

Inspiration is back and we are best friends again. She and I are getting along really well right now.

While I need to continue to reflect on how my first journaling class went into the safe space of my journal and privacy I must say that I’m excited. I’m excited to see where this goes and how it evolves. I’m excited to make adjustments and I’m excited to take how the first test-run went and run with it even more.

Through this process and preparation, I learned a lot. I had a few revolutions to myself and I’m going to share them with you:

It takes a lot to prepare for something especially when it’s something you care a lot about. There is so much value in the attention to detail but when you care a lot about something the detail and attention to them come organically. Because it’s a given that you nurture things you truly care about.

There was a lot of work that went into preparing for the class but if anything it was really fun. I loved getting creative with promoting the class and making flyers for it.

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My flyer in color form: the version I posted on social media

Have you ever stopped in the hallways of coffee shops or locker rooms of your locker gym or in libraries and looked around? Have you ever stopped and looked at the bulletins that are likely right in front of you full of opportunity and interesting characters?

It’s okay if you haven’t but hopefully, now you take time to do this because there is a lot to learn from checking out the bulletins.

Regularly, I stop and look at what is on the bulletins at local shops to see if there are any opportunities that might be a fit for me or if there is anything locally going on that might spark my interest. There are so many walks of life that come in and out of the places we are walking through and we might miss something that could impact our days or maybe even our lives.

I love taking time to stop and look around at my surroundings. It’s so easy to get caught up in the chaos of life that we don’t realize how good and beautiful the space around us truly is.

Actually, it’s funny. The other day I saw a really funny, nice, scary or should I say sad bulletin post about an older folk looking for a girlfriend that’s creative and like-minded like himself:

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Text in image and sign posted says: “I’m really looking for a girlfriend. This is not a joke. Just tired of the singles scene and hoping to meet the right person. I am a professional artist and creative person. You know who you are. To me, each and every person is beautiful. Open to the possibility of the relationship morphing into something more profound.

Now, as I joke about calling him because I am an extremely eligible bachelorette, it sparked my mind to think, “why don’t I do this for my class?”.  So, I created a flyer to post about my class and printed out 30 copies.

I took two hours’ handwriting tabs with my contact information on where to RSVP. Sure, it seems like it would have been a pain in the butt but this simple note of detail made this class that much worth it because someone who really pulls a tab off from looking at it means that they are truly interested in the class and that makes it all worthwhile.

Here is what they looked like:

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After this was all finished I headed down to my favorite neighborhood and put the flyers up in as many storefronts as I could. I heard a few polite and harsh ‘no’s but I also received many stamps of approvals with ‘yes’. During this process, while I was drenched in sweat, I had so many valuable and amazing conversations with store owners, workers, and even pedestrians. It was cool. I could have stopped right there and been fulfilled with the class that had not yet even happened.

My favorite was when I walked into my favorite café, Cornelia Street Café, which is right off of Bleecker Street and met the owner. Before I knew it, I was sampling wines with him and headed to the basement to watch live music and put my flyer up on the bulletin board.

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It was another very sweet moment to say the very least.

Putting these flyers around was mindful and thoughtful – at least, I think. So, go me!

This is handy because that leads me to my next point! I truly believe that there should be no shame in self-promoting. Of course, there are certain points where it’s not authentic or genuine but why not share what we are up to with the world?

I understand that I post on social media a good amount but anytime that I do it’s with good intentions because it’s something I truly care about sharing with the public or anyone that is willing to listen.

If you have something that you are passionate about – share it. If you want to talk about something – share it. If you are trying to find ways to make a living – promote it!

Although I am really engaged in social media, I truly am old school when it comes to connecting and conversing with others. With different platforms of media, I want to bring engagement and conversations to light in a way that’s different than how it’s moving now. Also, I want to use my following and social networks to connect and help others. There truly is endless potential.

Every day I try to do things that make me comfortable in uncomfortable settings. While I was promoting my pop-up classes, I went on Facebook life twice. While I’m comfortable being in front of the camera with my broadcasting experience – it still was such a different and unfamiliar setting because I was talking to people that already knew who I was and might not have seen me in this setting. I am comfortable in front of the camera but sheesh my nerves hit me as soon as I went live.

Right now, I’m just getting acclimated with my new life that I’m living in the city. That said, I’m working odd jobs while I network with people in the industry and pursue my passions in journalism and writing. Aside from the waitressing job that I’m working currently, I’ve got to find other ways to pay the bills.

Freelancing and hopefully, this journaling class will create incomes for me to not be just balling on the budget but to also enjoy a beer or two with a friend after work or a nice latte while I write.

While paying the bills and making ends meet is essential, so is enjoying life.

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Here I am at my journaling class. Being cute (jk, sorta!) and loving life.

Along the way to getting ready for this class, I truly made the most of what I had without spending ANY MONEY.

I didn’t realize I was doing that until I was in Washington Square Park setting up the area two hours before class.

I used my old twin size sheet and laid it out. Grabbed some cute nick-nacks from my apartment to be paperweights, hardcover books as lap desks, cardboard from old packages to make posters, pens that naturally I have a disgusting amount of, paper that I’ve had ‘just in case’.  There was much more of it but I arrived to the park with three very hefty bags full of fun and was so excited to get it going. IMG_4778.JPG

It all fell into place because I knew the welcoming environment that I wanted to create and made the most of it.

Anything is possible no matter what you have or where you are – make it happen.

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I’m going to end abruptly now because I’m overwhelmed with emotions and just need to go spend time with myself and my journal.

Thanks for listening, reading and following along. I’ll talk to you soon. Ok! Ok!

Love, Em

QOTD: “You have to be the kind of person who can make the best out of a Tuesday. You know those people who live for the weekends? They’re wishing their life away. You have to find something worth living for or else you’ll look back and realize you’ve wasted your life away”.

 

 

 

My Advice Column

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How’s it going? How’s your day? What shoes are you wearing today? What mood are you in? I’ve had a semester full of Sunday Scaries, thrilling days in coffee shops, happy cries, sad sobs, melancholy moments of it being my final year in college and attempts at trying to seize the moment at my very generic 40,000 person college.

Few things have remained constant in my life. That’s good, I think. I’ve evolved. I’m growing. I’m changing. But, something that has remained concrete is my passion for journalism, my love for others and my interest in giving my input. Want to know something else that has remained a constant?

My advice column. In 10th grade of high school I pitched the idea to my local paper, The Centre Daily Times. Similar to the legendary Dear Abby I would be writing weekly/monthly columns where I had the opportunity to help others, give my input, voice my opinion and let my personality shine through.

When making this happen, I knew I wanted to write but I also was sure that I had to make a career out of networking, connecting and helping others. My advice column checked off all three of these on my list.

My advice column in which I call, Dear Emily has grown with me and it has seen me grow.

When I look back at the old advice I gave as a naive 16-year-old girl I giggle to myself and even cringe a bit. While my moral compass is the same I do believe that maturity and perspective on live has evolved drastically.

7 years people! That’s a longer amount of time.

As a personal project, I’m working on putting together a small book of every single one of my past advice columns. But adding different notations, doodles and more to bring my words to life. Would you buy a copy of it if it was in your local coffee shop, boutique or book shore?

Some of the most rewarding parts of my advice column was getting feedback from people that it started a conversation with friends or family. I’ve had mothers share with me that they’ve cut my advice column out and put it on their fridge or sat a copy on their daughters bed. I’ve had boys share that they appreciated my opinion on what to wear to or a first day or how to approach the whole idea of ‘first dates’ because they didn’t see it from a perspective such as mine.

Hearing this feedback is why I write what I write and do what I do. Positive affirmations leave me to want to write more, to explore my world more and to dive into it more. Yet, although I’ve had so many positive elements to this column that have shaped me there also has come a lot of negatives or setbacks. But, these setbacks have given me a reason to push forward and strive for growth or improvement.

I’m excited to hopefully publish my Dear Emily’s in a hard copy form or some sort of neat platform but for now here are a few of my questions that I’ve answered that I feel reflect who I am and how I’ve grown:

Dear Emily,

Even though State College is having an odd winter, I can feel that swim suit season is amongst us. How old is too old to wear a bikini? Plus, I’m nervous to even get into a suit. How do I find confidence?

Dear Bikini Bod,

I truly believe that any body is a bikini body. We are all built and made differently which special so it’s important that we embrace that. Now that the season is almost here, many will all of a sudden go on a tremendous cleanse or diet and be hitting the gym like crazy. Good for them as we should be taking care of our bodies. But, what is most important is that you take care of your mind first. If you take care of this then you’ll find confidence and comfort in putting yourself in a suit. I won’t lie – it is a dreaded thing for most everyone to put on a swimsuit after a dried skin and paled body winter. There is no denying that everyone has insecurities but we have to turn those into perfect imperfections.

Tomorrow when you wake up or are getting out of the shower or are getting dressed – go stand in front of your mirror. Look at your body. Embrace your shape. Admire your bare face. Love every pound.  Now, look in the mirror and tell yourself this:

“Hey body, I really want to be your friend. Thank you for allowing me to live and be here. You are pretty cool and really do a lot for me so please give me the strength to accept who I am and love myself for only that. We’ve gone on a pretty long journey together but I want to keep growing closer and more comfortable together. Thanks for all you do. Oh, and hi mind, you are smart, kind and beautiful too”

Okay, so it doesn’t have to be exactly this but give yourself a pep talk and give yourself time to acknowledge all that your body does. It’s pretty magnificent so why don’t you show it off.

As for finding the suit, it takes time. You have to be patient and gentle with yourself in the dressing rooms. It’s a frustrating task to find the right suit but I promise there are many out there that you will feel confident in. There are many styles of bikinis for all body types. Also, one pieces are back in. Everyone looks good in a black one piece – it’s timeless.

Do not compare yourself to others but do work to make sure you are taking care of your mind, body and spirit. If you want to wear a bikini, do it.

Dear Emily,

My daughter is pretty serious with her high school boyfriend and they always want their privacy but in my home, we have our guidelines. For example, she must keep her door open when they are upstairs in her room. Because of my guidelines, she has grown very temperamental with me and has closed herself off pretty much completely. She use to share a lot but now does not fill me in on anything. What should I do?

Dear Caring Parent,

Growing up I would even grow agitated with my parents when I had a boy come over because they would play 20 questions with him and always had an eye on us but now looking back on it all, I am thankful that they were protective of me. There were times where I had conversations with my parents when I was frustrated and even though I didn’t always get my way it was helpful to see and hear where they were coming from. I think it would be helpful to sit down with your daughter and have an open conversation about your guidelines, rules and boundaries. Allow her to talk and share her opinion as well. She probably isn’t going to like everything you say but that’s okay. Five years later and I’m glad my parents loved me enough to not allow boys in my bedroom at all! It’s okay if you don’t change your rules but maybe think about your expectations and think about how realistic they are. I think it’s important you keep the lines of communication open because the last thing you would want her to do is go behind your back or lie to you – that never ends well. If you have continuous conversation and an open mind with your daughter you’ll grow trust in one another which in any relationship is extremely important and necessary.

StateCollege.com ( November 7, 2017)

Dear Emily,

As a college student that is involved, how do you handle a social life and balance with academics?

Dear Balancing Act,

With many tears and sleepless nights, of course! Oh, I’m only half kidding. Let me tell you my trick. It’s all about time management, ranking your priorities and making time for yourself. I learned all of these very quickly my freshman year of college and am still growing to be better at doing them. There is no doubt that there are many bumps in the road when you are trying to make it all happen but if you find balance in the right way it’s possible. Through all of the hours of studying, commitment to extracurricular activities, and time spent in my classes I have found that the most important part to this weird, overwhelming, amazing, and scary place we call college is taking time to take care of yourself. You must take time to do things that make you happy and keep you healthy. Don’t push aside a good workout because you feel like you don’t have time – the endorphins will keep you sane through exam week. At the end of the night allow yourself to watch an episode of your favorite show on Netflix, because you do deserve it. Take time to reflect on your day because in order for everything else to be productive and successful it’s important that you are standing straight up and able to catch your breath.

Now, time management. It’s something I never learned in my first 18 years of life but boy, I quickly learned it as soon as I came to Penn State. It’s OK to allow yourself to watch a few Snapchat stories before you start studying but you must know when to put it away and dive into your textbooks. Eventually, you’ll realize that spending time scrolling through Instagram or clicking to watch Snapchat videos does not matter and is irrelevant. But what does matter is to make the most of what time you presently have. It might seem crazy but I often schedule in my planner what I am doing every hour of the day. This helps keep me on track. Heck, on my busiest days I’ve given myself minutes and reminders to catch my breath, eat food, or even go get a shower. This makes me seem like a very Type A and organized person, but I’m honestly not. I like to consider myself a beautiful mess at times and that’s perfectly fine. For me, I need to make To-Do lists and number things based on what needs to get done first or the importance of each task. I highly recommend this for you too. That leads me to my next trick …

It’s valuable to know your priorities in many aspects of your life. People, time, and things are all factors in this. Let’s look at an example. On a recent weekend I was burnt out and exhausted from so many different factors in my life. I knew I needed to recharge. Friday came around and I could have gone to my friends’ cabin but I knew that I would come back and be even more drained. So, instead of going out I shut everything down and closed myself off from the world. I treated myself to a dinner from Panera, made my room cozy, and had a movie night. Alone. On a Friday. It was exactly what I needed but I had to make the choice to sacrifice a night out for the time to recharge. This may seem small but sometimes those tiny sacrifices are important when you are trying to create balance. Know who is valuable to you and make them a priority. Know what you need to get done in a day and make that a priority. Make yourself a priority because you are worth it and you deserve to be healthy and happy.

The Daily Collegian (February 15, 2016) 

Dear Emily,

I feel like now that it is so cold outside I have been wasting a lot of time at home doing nothing other than checking social media sites and envying what everyone else is doing. What is something I can do to change this?

Dear homebody,

Steve Jobs once said, “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. … Stay hungry. Stay foolish.”

Stop wasting your time at home and checking social media. Start changing what you do with your time. Find things that interest you and pursue them. Invite your friends to have a movie night or go bowling.

Staying at home is fine, but there are plenty of things you can do at home. If you don’t feel like leaving your room for the day, then go through everything in your room and give away the things you haven’t touched or worn in two years. Be innovative; on a snowy day, build a fort with your roommates or make a fancy dinner. Most importantly, challenge yourself. Find something every day that you didn’t know or see before. Step out of your comfort zone. Have a conversation with someone new, or make small talk with the person checking you out as hungry. Stay foolish.

The Centre Daily Times ( January 19, 2014)

Dear Emily:

I cannot stop comparing myself to other girls. Everyone else is so much skinnier, prettier and more fun. I am hooking up with one of the hottest guys at our school and am invited to all the parties, and I still feel bad about myself.

How can I be more confident? I can’t help but to doubt myself.

Dear Not Confident:

Confidence shouldn’t come from who is hooking up with who or who is going to the big parties on the weekend. Confidence should come from what is inside and how happy you are. Who is to define what skinny, pretty and perfect is? The answer is no one.

It’s unfair that society can decide what those labels are at times. Comparing yourself to others is going to do you no good and will only bring you down.

Start looking for things that make you happy and bring you excitement, and use those things to make you more confident. Finding your confidence isn’t about your appearance; it’s about the way you talk, the way you think, the way you move and the way you make others feel. Believe it or not, all of those things are in your control. You can make change happen.

If you don’t like the way you feel when looking into a mirror, then change it. Find a good program to help you eat healthier, and find a workout program that will make you work hard so that you are successful. When you are successful, you will become confident. No more doubting yourself, because you are capable of many amazing things, I promise. It may take a lot of hard work, but get in the right mindset, make a change and believe in yourself!

QOTD: “life isn’t about accomplishing things, but it’s about experiencing them”

 

Things Journalists Love That Everyone Should Understand.

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Hey hi hello!

The mind of a journalist is unlike many. We are thinkers and we are passionate about what we do. At times it’s hard because no one sees the work we put into our pieces or the passion that we have for writing. Here is an inside look from the perspective of a journalist to gain some understanding of what we love:

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1. I love the way my hands work on top of my key board or gripping a pen in my journal when I’m writing a good piece. There’s nothing like it. After I finish a good piece my hands move differently, my body navigates distinctly for honestly almost a whole other day. It’s indescribable.

2. I adore the way my brain cranks before, during and after a piece. Most of the time, it’s running everywhere but at the same time it is so focused and persist.

3. I admire the nights that I’m almost asleep in bed and an idea comes to me. The nights where whether it’s 9 p.m. or 3 a.m. my brain won’t stop jogging until I flip my computer or journal open to jog down the first few minutes of my thoughts upon this idea.

4. I am thankful that my words are able to express my feelings.

5. I am honored that the work I publish can impact others.

6. I am humbled that my articles can change the perspective of others as well as my own.

7. I find it unique that not everyone will agree with what I have to say but most will take time to listen.

8. I beam in the moments where my fingers can keep typing and there is never a break in my thoughts.

9. I embrace the moments that I receive feedback, good or bad.

10. I think it’s remarkable when I write something that others disagree upon – because that’s when I grow, learn and challenge myself.

11. I love when I feel like I have published a flawless piece of work.

12. I adore being a dreamer, a doer, a writer, a creative mind, a reporter and most importantly I love being a journalist.

QOTD: “Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you’re at it.” — Horace Greeley

On a side note, if you enjoy coffee and like to look at things you should check out my Instagram @_coffeeandthings_. I love to post others thoughts and pictures but also love posting whatever may be on my mind. Give it a lil follow, ya know? I’d appreciate it.

Love,

Em

 

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Ps. It’s been a while since I’ve published on here – but, I’ve been focusing on myself and other important faucets of my journalistic career but I am more then happy to be back – thanks for having me – hope you enjoy 🙂

What I’m Wearing: Traveling to California & Using Snacks as an Essential Accessory

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Hi! I’m making my way to California to see my best friend from high school and I figured I’d talk about what I’m wearing because I strategically wear a few things when I travel. Also, I want to touch base with you and let you know my thoughts on snacking because that’s one of the more important topics that I feel should be discussed.

Last night at 8 p.m I began to pack for my weeklong trip to California. I pack most efficiently last minute and late at night but let’s hope I brought enough undies and didn’t forget my deodorant. Packing last minute is a personal #Tip I have for you – it’s likely something like this won’t work for everyone.

Please take note of the snacks in my hand and  the bag below. Snacks are very important. Heck, they are an essential accessory in traveling. It can dictate a mood and creates comfort. Do you see my GoldFish crackers in hand on my way out? Essential. Also, I’m very thankful to have a mom that packs me bags of snacks and write me notes even when I’m a 21 year old young adult.

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Here is an awkwardly fun picture of me heading out to drive to the airport – so, let’s talk about it:

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My T-shirt: It’s Free People…It’s from my mom’s closet….We got it at TJ Maxx. Heck ya. What a combo. This loose fitting army green shirt V-neck is practical, comfortable & the bomb.com. So, I always give my mom grief for some of her outfits but who is the first person to go steal cloths from her closet? Me. I don’t give the lady enough credit; she has great wardrobe especially when I help her shop ;). Also, I forgot to lay out a shirt after I was packed so I politely said “Mom, can I barrow a shirt?” and she let me! Plus, she gave me the perfect travel shirt. Comfort is everything. Pow-Pow! Thanks mom.

My Jacket: It’s from Gap and I got it two years ago. It will be something from my wardrobe that I will keep and hopefully give to my daughter one day. I wear it with everything. There is not one outfit that my jean jacket doesn’t go with. It’s so comfortable, versatile and appropriate for just about any situation or event. I don’t go anywhere without my Gap jacket. If you know me or follow me on social media (@echertow) you know that I have just about everything in denim. This coat was $49.00 and I pray that it will never get too worn out to wear.

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My Kicks: Low-rise cream converse. These are another essential to my wardrobe and are so worn in that I don’t even have to wear socks with them. That’s when you know they are a good pair of shoes. I like these because they aren’t the common converse but they do go with everything I own. They’ve seen, stepped on and been many places. I don’t like clean shoes. I like shoes that have stories to tell.

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My Leggings: Again, they are from TJ Maxx. Buying these leggings probably was the only time I went in there for a reason and came out with only what I came for. Normally, I go into that store and walk out with things that I didn’t think I ever needed until I bought them. These leggings were very necessary and have been worn very frequently. They are extremely flattering and make my legs look skinnier then I think they actually are plus they are so practical and comfortable. It’s a win-win here folks!

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My Scarf: This is very important. I never fly without a scarf. I promise that it’s not crazy considering it’s 90 degrees out – it’s practical. I like my space to be cozy – always. If I could I would bring a blanket on a plane but I’m an adult now and sadly that just not appropriate so a scarf to me is my piece of comfort. It makes the perfect shoulder throw or pillow to rest my head on. It makes everything more comfortable and is also fashionable. That right there is an ideal scenario. This scarf is from the $10 bin at Nordstrom Rack and is very light weighted. The perfect summertime scarf.

My Bag: This is a knock off bag that I spent $12 on five years ago and have used very much. I believe it’s a knock off from the brand Longchamp. This shade of green I’ve referred to multiple times recently but it’s a great shade that goes with everything. This is the bag I will use as my carry on but it is also my weekend bag, beach bag and gym bag etc. In addition, I threw a floral hanky on the handle. It was $3 at a vintage shop in Charlotte North Carolina.

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My Accessories: All of the accessories I have on tell some sort of story or have some sort of memory and that’s the way I prefer to wear my jewelry. My bracelet is gold and I have three of them two of which have special sayings on the inside. I got these for a birthday from my parents and they are reminders of some special messages I share with my family. My watch is Kate Spade and says Hello Sunshine on the face. Hello Sunshine is something I like to think represents my energy and the way I see things. My mom got me this watch after taking note of how often I wear my necklace that says the same thing. My necklace is also Kate Spade and is an everyday necklace.  I love the meaning and story behind it. It’s very special to me. My earrings are Lucky Brand but are from Nordstrom Rack. They are special to me again because I wear them very often. I have in my time bought about four pairs of Lucky Brand dangling earrings. They always end up being worn very often and hard. I only purchase them when they are on sale or are affordable but they are worth it because they are light on my ears and go with many of my outfits. I got my anklet hanky at a flea market at the end of spring semester that popped up in State College one day. My neck piece is similar to a hanky but also a scarf. I threw this on for comfort and style. It’s sheer and is from the same thrift store as above in Charlotte.

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I’m so excited to get on this flight because that means that I don’t have to engage with anyone and that I get to take a nice nap and read my book in complete peace. It’s often refreshing to do this. I think traveling alone is important and great. I do always look forward to seeing who I will sit next to. Often we get to talking and I love hearing their stories. I brought business cards with me (as always) because you never know who you are going to meet. That’s a #Tip for you…always come prepared.

The book I’m going to start to read on the plane is called “How To Fall In Love with Anyone” when my brother saw it he just shook his head because he knows how caught up I get and how much of a hopeless romantic I am but little does he know it’s just a memoir and isn’t a “how to” sort of book!

Have a good day and since I’m going to see my best friend this week that I only get to see twice a year I ask that you give an old or important friend a call and see how they are doing.

QOTD: “You are most powerful when you are most silent. People never expect silence. They expect words, motion, defense, offense, back and fourth. They expect to leap into the fray. They are ready, fists up words hanging leaping into their mouths. Silence? No.”

Lots of happiness,

Emily

Talking About My Outfit & Shopping At The Grocery Store

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Hello! It’s me. Emily! So, for a while now I’ve had people here and there say that I should write about fashion or what I wear. So heck, I’m going to do it more and try to often. I have found the trend with online blogging, Youtubing, etc tends to be on two different scales of things. 1. The people that their whole wardrobe consists of thrifted or vintage clothing (and we all wish we could have) 2. The people that are wearing sponsored / promoted clothing (and we wish we could have) 3. The people that are wearing clothing that is in season and let’s be honest your girl cannot afford that in consistency but sometimes you just gotta #TreatYourself.

I have found the happy medium. For Example:  the shorts I wore today are from 8th grade yet the top that graced my bussoms was 40% off at Anthropoligie during beginning of summer.

So, here I am, I am taking a pledge to snap of picture of myself whenever I remember and talk about it and let ya know what’s on my bod, how I put it together and where it came from. It may be new, ugly, worn out or who knows but it’s my style and I want to share it with you.

Here we go:

Me, Emily Chertow, posing for the camera in front of the various selection of ranch dressing! Honestly, I had my mom take this picture of me while we were getting groceries so here we have it folks….raw, hot, cute & fun! I like to call this look “It’s Summertime Hunnies!!!”

 

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Currently, I am living out of my suitcase so this assortment of an outfit honestly came to me from seeing this fun yellow shirt and throwing on the first light weighted pair of shorts I could find. It came together nicely – I like to think. I have found that my taste in clothing varies but is consistent. My wardrobe is pretty big because a lot of the cloths I wear I’ve had for a while but that’s the beauty of it. I think 90% of any pieces in my closet can look good when they are put together. Ask my mother if she would agree with this and she wouldn’t. I like bold colors and patterns put together but I also love my army green and deep oranges. It varies on the mood.

We will go from the toes up on todays outfit:

My Shoes: You bet your sweet toosh these shoes are from TJ.Maxx. They were $16.99 and when I found them I put them on my feet and shopped in them with the tags still on. This is a #Tip I have for you. Wear the shoes that you’re thinking about purchasing around the store even if you are awkwardly shuffling in them with the tags on – doing this will determine if it’s worth it or not. If you’re feet hurt or you feel them aching somewhere then I suggest you say goodbye to them because it’s likely they’ll sit in your closet longer then not if you don’t!  Comfort is essential in my wardrobe. I’m 21 years old and you are not putting anything on my body that I’m not comfortable or feel confident in. Goodbye forever to shoes that give me blisters! Anyway, these shoes are great and really go with many things that I put on my body. Not to mention they can be dressed up but they can also be dressed down.

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*Excuse my un-pedicured toesies*

My Shorts: These shorts are from Kohl’s and they are anciently old. Yeah, I’ve had them for approx. 5+ years (?!). They are silk and very comfortable. I could not tell you the price but they are from the Lauren Conrad collection. Remember her? Iconic teenager in the dramatic MTV show The Hills. I was always a big fan. These shorts are perfect because like anything are perfect for the day or great for the night.  It’s likely I got them with my mom’s Kohls Cash for a little bit of back to school shopping. Wow, those were the days.

My Shirt: It was on sale at Anthropologie. This store is a sister of Free people and I believe Urban Outfitters. If I could have everything in this brand, I would. I think it represents my style and taste very well but if you think I’m going to pay $70 for a loose-fitting shirt or pair of shorts then you are out of your mind. Anthro has a really great sale section and it’s the first place you should go when you get there. I have found some stuff on MEGA MEGA sale and their pieces last a really long time. (I’ll talk about my $6.99 orange corduroys jeans in another post) This shirt that I have on is very comfortable and flattering. I believe this shade of yellow looks good on EVERYONE. Also, the sleeves are very “Flamingo Dancerisk” but just like the shade of yellow, the fit of the shirt is VERY flattering. It’s perfect for the summer time on a hot day when you are sweating on every inch of your body but want to look put together.

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My Handkerchief: This summer I decided that I am going to wear handkerchiefs basically every single day on some part of my body. The thing is, my collection of handkerchiefs is large and it’s growing. At first, I bought a few just for decor decoration for wherever I was going to end up this summer. In fact, I bought three because I packed my life in two suitcases at the end of the school year still not sure where I would end up this summer and if you know me then you already are aware that I like my living space to be personal and cozy. Unfortunately, I couldn’t bring my 20 decorative pillows or my vintage pictures frames with me so I needed a splash of life and color. My ‘hankys’ gave me that fix. Soon it evolved into me realizing how great they go with my wardrobe. I’m telling you – handkerchiefs go with everything. Put them on your purse, hair, ankle, wrist, waist or neck and it ties an outfit together.  If you start seeing girls wear them  please give me the bonus points for starting that trend. In this outfit, I have my yellow polka dot ‘hanky’ on. I found this one in a vintage store in Charlotte North Carolina. I’m going to be honest I didn’t wash it the first time I wore it so it still smelled about 50 years old but now it’s just smells like clean linens. Does it add character or was that TMI? Sorry. Anyway, thrifted ‘hankys’ are the best because they have a story with them and I think that’s what makes fashion the most fun.

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My Purse: Oh boy, don’t get my started on my basket purse. I honestly could write a whole post about it. I’ve been looking for a basket purse all summer and I finally put my foot down and looked on Etsy. The best shopping website to exist. I found the perfect one and treated myself. Yup, I deserved it. After shipping, it cost $50 and but how happy I was about this purchase was priceless. It is my Mary Poppins bag.  It has everything I ever need or want in it and I feel like it is never ending. Also, it looks great with every stinkin’ outfit I have on. It can’t be beat. I like it mostly because I’ve never seen anyone at my university with a basket purse and trends are horrible at my school. Everyone is wearing the same thing and only a few people dare to try something new. Shout out to those who do. I appreciate you. I like that I’ll be one and only girl on campus with this exact purse. It was made in 1997 and is in great condition. It is also now very very VERY well loved. I even threw my favorite hanky on the strap to spice it up a bit.

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My Jewelry: None (except my ring that I never take off).  Odd right? With just about any outfit you can count on me to have dangling earrings, bangles or a watch on. So, this was out of the ordinary for me, I must have forgot, been in a rush or thought it’s too darn hot out to put my chunky jewelry on. BUT, I did have my hairband with me. It’s this plastic spirally bracelet. I discovered them last year and got a set of three for $6.99 at Nordstrom Rack. They are the best and they last forever. Plus, they look like a piece of jewelry and I’ve actually gotten compliments on them. I’m not sure what they are called but they are the bomb and everyone should get them to have on their wrist and put their hair up with.

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My Face: Lipstick is essential. I feel naked without it. Today I just put on mascara, a little bit of concealer, blush and my favorite lipstick in which I stole from my best friend Maggie. It’s a nice liquid lip in a matte color. That baby lasts all darn day!

I love you if you read this. Hope you learned a #Tip or giggled at something I said.

QOTD: “Do more of what makes your soul happy” –Not sure who said it but it’s the truth.

Like what I have to say? Then let’s talk about it. Feel free to reach out with questions, conversations, comments after reading this. I’d love to hear from you.

Have a nice day,

Em

Consistency.

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Hi There-

I have found that while I am always thinking of 1 million things at once and at times seem skattered that consistency, routine and organization is essential in my life. I like my beautiful mess.

I depend on my To-Do lists and rely on my daily agenda. If you were to ask me “What could you not live without?” I would respond with this:

– Journal – Daily Planner – Denim Jacket – Lipstick – Kosher Dill Pickles – Pens that right smoothly – My watch – Smoked salmon –

So, with that being said. I have found that finding a way to be consistent in routine is very important. In my planner, I write goals months ahead to give myself a timeline, in my planner I fast forward a bunch of pages and tell myself I better have gotten to “X” page by a specific date.

Check this out. Here is an example:

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As you can tell by the doodle of flowers, I got to my goal just in time or else you would of seen a list of things that make me happy. With every goal or date – I give myself a task.

Tasks are something else that motivate me. Tell me I have to do something specific by this date and time. You bet I’ll have it done and then some more.

I suggest you do this too. Overtime, it will help you become more organized and aware of time. But hey, what do I know!? I’m just learning as I do and growing with it.

My coffee is getting cold. I better get to finishing it! On a side note:  If I were to transform into a coffee shop this place called Amelia’s is exactly what I would be – that is currently where I have residing for the majority of this Friday afternoon.

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QOTD: “Laughter is more than just a pleasurable activity…When people laugh together, they tend to talk and touch more and to make eye contact more frequently.” -Gretchen Rubin from her book The Happiness Project.
What I am currently listening to: Paco by City Of The Sun (My favorite band) on Pandora.

Totaloo, for now, friends.

Emily

Coffee & Conversation

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Hi-

Well, much of my time is spent in a coffee shop – you might know. This is a place of element for me. My thoughts flow, my mind cranks and I find my time worthy here. I am the best version of myself when I am drinking coffee, journaling and have a good shade of lipstick on. I am starting this Instagram called A Girl and Her Coffee (@_coffeeandthings_)  to connect with others. I want to hear about conversations you’ve had while sharing a drink with other, things you’ve accomplished or thoughts you’ve had while in a coffee shop. Where is your favorite coffee shop? What is your favorite brew? Where do you prefer to sit when you are getting situated in a coffee shop? What is your favorite pastry? Tell me about it. Doing this we will learn more about our selves and others. I’ve shared so cups of coffee with so many amazing people or myself and my journal that have gone undocumented. I want to use this platform as a place to capture it all. Each post I will feature whoever submits to me or someone I find that inspired me from a post/picture/story.  Whoever wants to show me their atmosphere of where they are, a story they have, a picture of a beautiful latte please do. It could be a coke you drink, a muffin you ate – this is not for the coffee junkies this is for everyone. It’s all free game and the ball is in your court. Let’s get to sippin’, thinking, conversing!

QOTD- “Bad news is: you cannot make people like, love, understand, validate,accept or be nice to you. You can’t control them either. Good news is: it doesn’t matter”

Okay Adios Make it your best day yet. Go follow and check it out on Instagram. Share content with me and I will post about it. @_coffeeandthings

xo, Em

@_coffeeandthings_

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*My dad took this awkward picture of me – please appreciate it.